Aspergers Syndrome
Social Skills Training

Social skills training

The common application of Social Skills training for Aspergers children is based on a  core misunderstanding of why HFA children to not demonstrated good social skills. The problem is more of one being able to access skills than having them. Let me use  an example common to many of us, stage fright in public speaking.

Like the person who practices a speech until they sound perfect, but freezes on stage, it is not that they do not have the skills to give the speech.  They  have clearly demonstrated these skills  and knowledge during practice.  However, their emotional arousal keeps them from accessing their skills real time. Most Aspergers children can explain what they need to do in social situations, thus demonstrating their knowledge. However, like the public speaker, they cannot demonstrate it in the real situation.

Many of them interact normally with adults but cannot do likewise with their peers. That is a strange contrast if they truly do not have social skills. Though there are some differences in how children interact with adults and peers, the vast majority of it is the same. If they interacted with their peers the same way they did with adults, they may not be the most popular kid in school, but they would have friends and be liked by their peers.

 The important difference between relating to adults and peers is not social skills, but the type of social feedback they have learned that they are likely to get. Children are famous for the blunt, brutal and hurtful things they say and to to one another. And , the odd child gets a larger dose of it. However, with adults, they are safe from this emotional punishment. Thus, their social performance is better with adults than with other children. Again, this is not because of skills, but because of comfort.

One of my articulate patients put it well.

“I find I'm able to read people really well, but I usually don't respond accordingly.”

Continued